What if you were curious, not harsh or judging, with yourself over your motives or choices, as you would be talking with your favorite author, or as gentle with yourself learning new things as you are with your niece or nephew or grand baby?
What if it’s a New Year and you could be your own best friend? When someone lets you down, or worse betrays you, take time – push the pause button, do three deep breaths and ask yourself “what do I need right now” to feel loved or safe or successful? Let’s try something NEW, skip the berating and raging or looping, and take some time for self care.
Maybe to love the Lord your God with all your heart, and soul, and strength and mind is taking that time to pause, let God’s unconditional, unfailing love wash over us – as we breathe deeply, in the moment. Then loving others as ourselves could be a creative action, as we have something fresh to offer.
The personality Dot is fascinating, as it seems to be the effort of our True Self to have a safe identity out in the world. Born into families and cultures with values, and certain behaviors and feelings that are affirmed, we as clever little tykes quickly figure how to get our needs met by developing certain identities. Below is a list of common identities we can use:
Why is understanding your Acting Identity important? Because even though you bring the gift of yourself somewhere in the role, there are automatic reactions from the chosen identity that keep you from really connecting to others and feeling the kind of joy we usually reserve for celebrations and special occasions.
For instance, if you are the Angry One you tend to attack and push your energy/opinions forward or if you’re the Easy Going One you may withhold/withdraw and even though these actions keep you safe in the short run, they don’t make for respectful connections that bring the sense of being understood and loved – because your heart is not open.
So a braveheart for the Angry One: take a deep breath (Holy Spirit time) and truly listen, or for the Easy Going One: take a deep breath (equally Holy Spirit time) and put some words out there. True actions open opportunities for true interactions, and love is found in that space between.
God – self – others
body – soul – spirit
nutrition – cognition – locomotion
past – present – future
There are so many connections in our lives, and many of them have three sides like a stable triangle or the ‘three legged stool of health’ my beloved grandpa use to rehearse with us – Sleep well, Eat right, Exercise. Bless his heart, he was onto something but the soul and spirit of the triangle didn’t get a mention and I wonder how that played into his struggle with depression…
Self care can seem overwhelming, especially as we age – things like sleep and stretching and good nutrition become necessities if we want to enjoy vim and vigor, chasing our midlife dreams and those grandbabies around. Increasing my exercise and decreasing my carbs has helped my energy, and recently I added hot water with lemon and raw honey to my mornings.
What self care routines nourish you?
And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us… profoundly grateful for the gift of Love, God in human form – Jesus. Also grateful for the second best Christmas gift ever, Baby Kloey.
Her first time parents are learning team work at 3:00am, swaddling like the pros and what all the different squeaks and noises mean. Such a bundle of love, such a precious life that connects us all to new life.
Merry Christmas to each of you and all those dear to you!
Sometimes the biggest step of faith… is getting out of bed.