New Year, new you

What if you were curious, not harsh or judging, with yourself over your motives or choices, as you would be talking with your favorite author, or as gentle with yourself learning new things as you are with your niece or nephew or grand baby?

What if it’s a New Year and you could be your own best friend?   When someone lets you down, or worse betrays you, take time – push the pause button, do three deep breaths and ask yourself “what do I need right now” to feel loved or safe or successful?  Let’s try something NEW, skip the berating and raging or looping, and take some time for self care.

Love heart flower

Maybe to love the Lord your God with all your heart, and soul, and strength and mind is taking that time to pause, let God’s unconditional, unfailing love wash over us – as we breathe deeply, in the moment. Then loving others as ourselves could be a creative action, as we have something fresh to offer.

True Braveheart

The personality Dot is fascinating, as it seems to be the effort of our True Self to have a safe identity out in the world.  Born into families and cultures with values, and certain behaviors and feelings that are affirmed, we as clever little tykes quickly figure how to get our needs met by developing certain identities. Below is a list of common identities we can use:

Common Compensatory Identities

Why is understanding your Acting Identity important?  Because even though you bring the gift of yourself somewhere in the role, there are automatic reactions from the chosen identity that keep you from really connecting to others and feeling the kind of joy we usually reserve for celebrations and special occasions.

For instance, if you are the Angry One you tend to attack and push your energy/opinions forward or if you’re the Easy Going One you may withhold/withdraw and even though these actions keep you safe in the short run, they don’t make for respectful connections that bring the sense of being understood and loved – because your heart is not open.

So a braveheart for the Angry One: take a deep breath (Holy Spirit time) and truly listen, or for the Easy Going One: take a deep breath (equally Holy Spirit time) and put some words out there. True actions open opportunities for true interactions, and love is found in that space between.

Dots in review

God – self – others

body – soul – spirit

nutrition – cognition – locomotion

past – present – future

triangle with triangles

image

There are so many connections in our lives, and many of them have three sides like a stable triangle or the ‘three legged stool of health’ my beloved grandpa use to rehearse with us – Sleep well, Eat right, Exercise. Bless his heart, he was onto something but the soul and spirit of the triangle didn’t get a mention and I wonder how that played into his struggle with depression…

Self care can seem overwhelming, especially as we age – things like sleep and stretching and good nutrition become necessities if we want to enjoy vim and vigor, chasing our midlife dreams and those grandbabies around. Increasing my exercise and decreasing my carbs has helped my energy, and recently I added hot water with lemon and raw honey to my mornings.

What self care routines nourish you?

The greatest gift

And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us…  profoundly grateful for the gift of Love, God in human form – Jesus.  Also grateful for the second best Christmas gift ever, Baby Kloey.

by the Christmas Tree

Her first time parents are learning team work at 3:00am, swaddling like the pros and what all the different squeaks and noises mean.  Such a bundle of love, such a precious life that connects us all to new life.

Merry Christmas to each of you and all those dear to you!

Don’t worry, be grateful.

Happiness -> Gratitude?    or       Gratitude ->  Happiness?

 

Don’t worry about anything, instead pray about everything …and don’t forget to thank Him for His answers, if you do this – you will experience God’s peace which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand.  His peace will keep your heart and mind quiet and at rest as you trust in Christ Jesus.

 

 

Cutting out the negativity, 30 day challenge

The Zero Negativity Challenge  was mentioned in a previous blog… a 30 day promise of NO negative messages conveyed through words, body language or tone. My family was game, willing to try after a discussion about humor and talking styles.  It builds a safety zone through respect, and encourages self awareness for needs and wants as you learn to ask, and not demand, things from others. This means that the two people, or in our case four, who sign the agreement will let the other know if they feel respect and understanding, and likewise if they hear/see/notice put downs, criticism or dismissive comments.

Zero Neg
True story – our two young adult kids who live at home were both enthusiastic about signing this agreement with us. Thirty days we would all watch what and how we said things to each other. And as our kids and I turned to leave the den, signed agreement in hand, there broke out a discussion that included some criticism regarding a mutual friend accompanied with eye rolling and the works…  after waving the newly signed paper and they quickly added, “this starts tomorrow!” which got quite a laugh from all of us.

It is really difficult to go a day, yet less a month without letting hurt, disappointment or resentment creep in via criticism or sarcasm. This agreement is really a challenge to self regulate, or as the ancient philosopher said “know thyself”. In your day to day, when are you being dishonest and saying Yes to something you really don’t have the energy or motivation to fulfill? When are you past the point of hunger and your blood sugar is wavering or you’re tired and instead of taking a break, you soldier on? Then within moments your voice tone gets snappy or louder or feeling resentful/put out the criticisms or put downs come sliding out because your feel overwhelmed and underappreciated?

Come on, try it. Just for a day – encourage each other and build each other up. It’ll make them wonder what you’re up to. 🙂

Faith is …

sunrise

Sometimes the biggest step of faith…  is getting out of bed.