Back to the future

Sometimes you have to go back, touch base with your roots…  experience something from your youth to get perspective…

corner of Dennis Rd & Rich Rd

 

This week I am road tripping with a dear friend, it is part sacred mission and part nostalgia that leads us into the farm country above Dallas, and then onto Baton Rouge, New Orleans and now into Oxford, Mississippi (home of Ole Miss University). First stop, burying her precious momma’s ashes in the family cemetery just off the same farm that four generations have lived, ashes to ashes and dust to dust.  But what glorious dust when the Spirit has breathed life into, and the recipient is sharp and aware of returning to the Love that birthed her.

 

side porch                    kitchen of the Farm                side sun  porch

Several decades later, so much is the same – the farm house, the barn, the front porch and the beauty of the country, but so much has changed – the little kids who are grown up, some have married and have their own families, all of them sharing the legacy of this land. The cycle of life, living in different states now except for one uncle and aunt who have tended the place for this generation.

Life, travel, families, dear friends, memories…    sometimes, life is a highway…

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Hurt, not harm

But wait, love doesn’t say or do things that might hurt others, right?  That would go against everything I learned in my Scottandinavian, evangelical Christian background.

On the other hand:

What about “let your yes be yes, and your no be no”?  What about growing up and speaking the truth kindly? What about stop deceiving each other (or ourselves) when we do things we really do not want to do? Are these loving actions?

Sometimes there are hurt feelings when we don’t live up to expectations, spoken or not. Sometimes we share what we see, what we feel or would like and … it does hurt, at first. In an ideal world, we might all want the same things and coast happily along together, rather than the constant negotiation of different needs and wants.

 “Even if I caused you sorrow, I do not regret it.  I see that my letter hurt you,
but only for a little while – yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry,
but because your sorrow led you to repentance.. and so were not harmed in any way by us.”  

There can be surface, fragile connections when we are ‘nice’ to each other.  But when we care enough to bring something up with kindness, there is room for change, restoration or deepened relationship with each other!

What about your experiences relating to speaking up respectfully for what you want? Did you receive what you asked for, lose a friendship, create understanding?