I am so very grateful on Memorial Day to pause and remember these heroes, and wouldn’t be here if a certain Sargent Duff didn’t make it back alive.
The homestead is sold, the stories are told, the memories we hold
of rocking the babies, teething and toddling, play groups, bike rides, tree forts, back yard camping, school events, downstairs Theater, parties and shared history…
with family and dear friends up the street, schools, church, swim club, YMCA all near by
Now the kids are off to their own adventures, and husband pushes onward
the dream of living near the beach is calling and we are moving on our dreams…
A Type Five and a couple of Type Twos took a trip, and the some of the differences were text book.
On the plane, when a baby was crying the Type 5 picked up a magazine and gave them privacy, the Type Twos were twisting around in their seats trying to offer help and solutions… the Type Five had researched the itinerary and had maps and suggestions in a folder, the Type Twos were so appreciative and the Type Twos offered help with luggage and shared their resources readily which the Type Five needed having packed minimally… and when invited to a large gathering, the Type Twos arrived early and were trying to help set up and talk to the leader, and see what was needed, the Type Five was in the car, getting some quiet time before the (somewhat draining) main event…
What they enjoyed that the weekend, was the adventure, weather and outings with each other and the chance to debrief with someone who shared the wonderful experience. What joy to have good friends that help us in our weak areas and appreciate our strengths!
There are people who listen and people who don’t, and then there are the folks who listen and say, “Yes, but…”. I vote to kick them out of the listeners’ group. It feels like tires spinning on an icy road, there is no traction. You say something, and they don’t disagree, instead they slant the conversation by comparing what you said with something bigger, better or often, someone worse off. An observant friend commented that even “No, but…” is a more engaging comment, at least they are tracking with you and have something to add.
In any case, you don’t feel listened to and it’s hard to return to the original point. Sometimes the slant is spoken casually, and sometimes with passion because there is hot spot in the topic for the listener.
Wouldn’t it be helpful if the listener would wave a flag?
This topic = Fireworks!!
I’d like to suggest universal speaking and listening etiquette:
1. Speaker: states topic, opinion or idea without interruption, for up to 3 minutes. (I’ve read where most people can’t listen for more than 17 seconds without interrupting; well my family has broken that record, easily).
2. Listener: summarizes what is said before changing the topic or even asking a follow-up question.
3. Speaker: ‘thanks for listening’ – acknowledge the time/energy spent caring about your thoughts or feelings, this is a gift.
Is it just getting away, is it different weather, is it not having your normal schedule?
What is so freeing about spending a couple days in a different place, especially if it’s sunny and especially if it’s around the water?
There is an expansiveness, a clarity that comes when you look out over the ocean, mountains or any scenery that is so beautiful you can hardly take it in…