About

re·la·tion·ship    noun \-shən-ˌship\

:the way in which two or more people or things are connected

WELCOME to Relationships, Connect the Dots!

Have you ever thought:

  • I love my job, it’s the people I work with that drive me crazy
  • What’s the point of my job/ life/ success if there is no one to share it with?
  • Am I different? Why don’t I fit in?
  • Life is good but I’d like… amazing, and want to look forward to the next phase, stage, adventure!
  • Why can those you love most – hurt you most?

Relationships are like Dicken’s intro in Tale of Two Cities, they can be “the best of times and also the worst of times”, they can bring out our best wisdom and highlight our worst foolishness… why do close relationships have to be such a struggle? In a word, CONFLICT.

   We all have a need to

                  be close & connected        see saw2      be separate & independent

Why is this seesaw such a precarious place for lovers, friends and family systems? In a word, COMMUNICATION. How do we share our needs and wants with respect for ourselves and others?

There are many who study the art and science of communication, Harville Hendrix, Ph.D  & Helen LaKelly Hunt,  Ph.D., Terrence Real, Founder of Relational Life Institute, Dr. John Gottman &  Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman with their Love Lab in Seattle, and Deborah Tannen, Ph.D. to name a few favorites, as well as  Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend who write, coach and teach about Bonding (close and connected) and Boundaries (separate and independent) in their many books and workshops. Each has something unique to bring to the discussion while all have themes in common – how do we communicate love and respect? Why is it so difficult to listen to different points of view?  How can we enjoy our own space and stay connected? Why is what we say often not what the other hears? These are some of the questions that this blog will explore.


 DJ DUFF

Doe Christmas ed. edJPG

MS in Marriage & Family Therapy,
Board Certified Christian Life Coach (BCCLC)

Education        
B.A. in Psychology, University of Washington
Masters of Science in Marriage & Family Therapy, Seattle Pacific University

Board Certified Christian Life Coach (BCCLC) with the International Christian Coaching Association (ICCA), American Association of Christian Counselors, Professional Life Coaching 101, 201.

Training
Crisis and Trauma Workshops including CISM Crisis Debriefing,  clinical experience with individuals, couples, families and therapy groups,  grief support group leader, techniques for releasing anxiety and fear, soul healing prayer, addictions and recovery issues along with resolving challenges within the family system.

Personal                  
Married over 30 years with 4 lively young adult children and both sides of our extended families in the Northwest, lots of opportunities to show love and respect, to practice forgiveness and understanding.

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6 thoughts on “About

  1. Thanks so much for liking my blog. I think it’s too bad that the business world puts so much emphasis on “hard skills” when it’s really the “soft skills” that are the hardest to develop. Good communication and growing positive relationships are what make the world go ’round!

    We need to show our children, from the earliest age on, how to communicate well with others because that’s where it all begins.

  2. Thank you for liking my post on communication. I see we have something in common. I, too, see communication as the lifeblood of relationships, careers and family unity.

  3. I find this very interesting… There’s a great power of relationships. Indeed, relationships connecrs the dots.

    Its so nice to realise you’re a psychologist and have it blended with your ‘ministry’ as a Christian. Lovely articles you have here. I’m going through one by one. I sure have a lot to learnv from you.

    Cheers…
    Henry.

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