What’s in a tone?

Have you ever noticed some of your work skills and talents aren’t rewarded at home like they are in the workplace?  Part of my job as a former therapist, and now as a Life Coach is to analyze, notice patterns and offer suggestions.  Our young adult kids don’t appreciate unsolicited analysis, go figure.  My husband is employed with a large shipping and transportation company, and his ability to cut to the chase, and effectively get tasks done each day gives him a nice paycheck but does not develop his empathy, patience or listening skills.

A good friend of ours is well paid to find potential flaws and risks, but his family doesn’t much appreciate those same skills applied directly to their ideas and opinions.  Another takes care of people, attending to their physical needs with skill and kindness, but as her kids grow up and become more independent she has found that they don’t always welcome that kind of hands on help. They can do it themselves, thank you.


So how can we remind each other that an effective work skill is not needed in the love and bond of more intimate relationships?  One of the most gracious people you will ever encounter would smile sweetly when her husband directed her or the kids in a bossy voice,  and would say “please don’t use your ‘Boeing tone’ at home”.   What a great reminder, and even though we don’t all work for the world’s largest aerospace company, repeat as needed!


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2 thoughts on “What’s in a tone?

  1. I know. I’ve often thought I’d like to be “dead” long enough for my husband to remarry and see how it worked out. However, the surprise might be on me. If I ever marry again, I’m going to walk in the kitchen, point at the stove, and say, “What’s that?” Ha!

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