The homestead is sold, the stories are told, the memories we hold
of rocking the babies, teething and toddling, play groups, bike rides, tree forts, back yard camping, school events, downstairs Theater, parties and shared history…
with family and dear friends up the street, schools, church, swim club, YMCA all near by
Now the kids are off to their own adventures, and husband pushes onward
the dream of living near the beach is calling and we are moving on our dreams…
A Type Five and a couple of Type Twos took a trip, and the some of the differences were text book.
On the plane, when a baby was crying the Type 5 picked up a magazine and gave them privacy, the Type Twos were twisting around in their seats trying to offer help and solutions… the Type Five had researched the itinerary and had maps and suggestions in a folder, the Type Twos were so appreciative and the Type Twos offered help with luggage and shared their resources readily which the Type Five needed having packed minimally… and when invited to a large gathering, the Type Twos arrived early and were trying to help set up and talk to the leader, and see what was needed, the Type Five was in the car, getting some quiet time before the (somewhat draining) main event…
What they enjoyed that the weekend, was the adventure, weather and outings with each other and the chance to debrief with someone who shared the wonderful experience. What joy to have good friends that help us in our weak areas and appreciate our strengths!
What if you were curious, not harsh or judging, with yourself over your motives or choices, as you would be talking with your favorite author, or as gentle with yourself learning new things as you are with your niece or nephew or grand baby?
What if it’s a New Year and you could be your own best friend? When someone lets you down, or worse betrays you, take time – push the pause button, do three deep breaths and ask yourself “what do I need right now” to feel loved or safe or successful? Let’s try something NEW, skip the berating and raging or looping, and take some time for self care.
Maybe to love the Lord your God with all your heart, and soul, and strength and mind is taking that time to pause, let God’s unconditional, unfailing love wash over us – as we breathe deeply, in the moment. Then loving others as ourselves could be a creative action, as we have something fresh to offer.
The personality Dot is fascinating, as it seems to be the effort of our True Self to have a safe identity out in the world. Born into families and cultures with values, and certain behaviors and feelings that are affirmed, we as clever little tykes quickly figure how to get our needs met by developing certain identities. Below is a list of common identities we can use:
Why is understanding your Acting Identity important? Because even though you bring the gift of yourself somewhere in the role, there are automatic reactions from the chosen identity that keep you from really connecting to others and feeling the kind of joy we usually reserve for celebrations and special occasions.
For instance, if you are the Angry One you tend to attack and push your energy/opinions forward or if you’re the Easy Going One you may withhold/withdraw and even though these actions keep you safe in the short run, they don’t make for respectful connections that bring the sense of being understood and loved – because your heart is not open.
So a braveheart for the Angry One: take a deep breath (Holy Spirit time) and truly listen, or for the Easy Going One: take a deep breath (equally Holy Spirit time) and put some words out there. True actions open opportunities for true interactions, and love is found in that space between.